Article #30


Anarky asks  “Who’s Your Daddy?”

(Or, the Father’s Day/Batman:  The Dark Knight Entry)


Well, originally this entry was meant for Father’s Day, but extenuating circumstances have pushed the site update way back.  Still, it seems appropriate that this article falls between June’s Father’s Day and July 18ths The Dark Knight release.  Why will become pretty obvious – all you sharp cookies out there will figure it out before you even finish reading this.


Anyway, what we’re dealing with this time is the short lived series entitled Anarky, by DC, published in the 90s.  Anarky, as many of you may not remember, and you younger readers just don’t know, is, well, a teenage super-genius anarchist created by Alan Grant and Norm Breyfogle back when they were both working on Batman and Detective Comics.  Anarky, aka Lonnic Machin, was in the mold of V from V for Vendetta, and had numerous run-ins with the caped crusader, as well as his own mini-series and short-lived regular series in 1999.  To be honest, I can’t think of many other appearances after the series was cancelled in 1999 with issue #8.  Odd.


Ah yes, issue #8.  Seems Anarky wanted to discover who his real parents were (guess he was adopted, who knew?).  In this fashion, he hunts down his real mom, who isn’t quite as sharp as she used to be…





Here’s the payoff people!




Guess you can figure out where I was headed with this article.  For those of you new to the site, my last entry dealt with Mother’s Day and a negligent mom – somehow I think today’s entry would be worse, don’t you?  Hang on though, there’s more…




Well, if you found out that your dad could be a jailbird, what would the next step be?  Request a blood test from Miss Mitchell to confirm she really is your mom?  Look up data records trying to corroborate Miss Mitchell’s story?  Ask for help from the tights-wearing super-community?  Or, break into prison to talk to your potentially crazy and incoherent daddy?  Well, this being a comic book, what option do you think our resident genius took?




Give yourself a pat on the back for choosing “break into prison”.  And about the incoherent part, notice how many straight answers Anarky gets out of Joker – that would be zero.  Really, that guy’s a wealth of information.


It’s also kind of eerie how that number 9 is just floating next to Joker.  Reminds me of the White album - creepy. 


So, what does a proud poppa do when he just discovers a long lost son he already claims he knows nothing about?  Why introduce him to his friends and neighbors of course!




So, the escape’s going fine and dandy until Anarky decides that, hey, he’s really not that bad a kid, he’s just come from a (really) broken home.  That’s when he manages to take out his dad’s pals – and his dad as well.  Hurrah!




See, although a vegetarian, Anarky still retains enough muscle protein to defeat Killer Croc, the Ventriloquist, Two-Face and the Joker – and he’s able to win the long distance shotgun toss to boot!  Guess that proves my point that you don’t need to eat meat to lead a full and active life and… uh… what was I talking about again?


Oh yeah.  Well, Joker and his gang are caught, but not after he shoots his son point-blank in the chest.  But our genius was wearing body armor, so it’s alright.  Sort of like getting a good paddling while sporting a hardcover book over your butt.  You’ll feel all the emotional sting of your dad’s reprimand, but none of the physical pain.


So Lonnie escapes and has a brief chat with his supercomputer buddy…




And fade to black.  Again, the odd thing here is that Lonnie is supposed to be very, very smart – yet he’s not bright enough to take a bit of Joker’s blood (he was gushing it from his mouth in an earlier panel) and do a simple DNA test to see if, indeed, he’s the son of the beast.  In fact, Joker’s certified insane, so why believe anything he says in the first place?  This whole issue seemed odd from the word go, but I guess it can explain why Anarky hasn’t been seen much lately.  He’s probably hunting down the source of inner peace.


There is one very interesting concept this story brings up.  What do super-criminals do in their spare times?  They must have similar urges in some respects as the rest of us.  So imagine, if you will, Joker roaming the countryside like a modern day Johnny Appleseed, planting seed where he may.  Imagine a world full of Joker-spawn growing up and becoming doctors, lawyers, accountants and what have you – all of them happy and care free until one day they snap!


Sounds a bit like reality.  Incidently, if any of you want to hunt down a copy of this beauty, here’s the cover…




Until next time, this is Killer Croc’s boy signing off…