Article #40

 

Captain America and Wonder Womanís Jet?

 

ORÖ

 

Gum and Comics donít mix

 

Anyone out there remember when baseball (and other) sports cards came packaged with a piece of gum?Seemed like a brilliant piece of business by the candy manufacturers to get as much cash out of kidís pockets as they could.When I was a youngster Iíd plop down my quarter for a pack of 5 cards and a piece of pink, rock hard gum that would always cut my cheek when I bit into it.Nothing says ďfunĒ like the taste of your own blood, right?Still, getting that coveted Vincent Trembley rookie card was well worth it.

 

The irony here is that, over time, the gum would eventually be dropped because it ruined the cards, not the kidís health.See, the slightest bit of moisture would soften the gum enough so itíd get stuck onto the card inside, ruining it.Of course, back when kids messed around with their cards, sticking them in spokes and tossing them at walls, this wasnít an issue.However when folks started to, say, pay $1000 for a really nice Wayne Gretzky rookie card, well, the gum got kicked to the curb.

 

Why this trip down nostalgia lane?Well, not too long ago I managed to stumble across one of theseÖ

 

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Some of the more observant of you will recognize this right away.Good for you.This here is a miniature comic book, measuring about 3.75 by 2.5 inches and full of 10 whopping pages of new story, as the cover proclaims.This is issue 3 of a set of 6.Hereís a shot of the back coverÖ

 

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So there you have it kids, the comic book companies got the brilliant idea that they, too, could sell lethal shards of pink confectionary to the public as well.I can only presume this as it has a very big UPC code.Mmm, certified color Ė what the heck is certified color?Itís kind of frightening to think of, but if the gum wasnít pink originally, what color was it?That brown smudge isnít a very encouraging sign, though.

 

Comics are pretty flimsy things to pack gum inside of, wonder how the stuff held up (be warned, the book was printed in 1981)Ö

 

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The back cover was made of slightly stronger card and could be unfolded, to reveal lovely pink and brown stains.Seems even plastic sealed mini-comics contain enough moisture to get the gum working.I wonít subject you to the horror image of the actual gum itself.Suffice it to say, seeing a wad of pink and pooh brown gum stuck on a piece of paper isnít on my highlight reel of life moments.

 

The gum still tasted terrible tooÖ excuse me a momentÖ

 

Okay, one quick visit with the mouthwash and weíre good to go.Iím sure youíre here for the comic itself, so letís see what Captain America has in store!

 

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To date this issue you can note that Nick Fury is allowed to smoke in a government building and the oval office was still in its horrible canary yellow dťcor phase.

 

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The Red Skull WIPED OUT AN AMERICAN CITY!!!Wonder what city it was?Des Moines, Iowa?Canít be New York, or youíd see Spider-Man or some other Marvel character getting the heck out of there.

 

Youíve got to love Capís newest addition to his arsenal, a special see-through plane thatís completely stealthy.Itís so novel and cool, I donít think anyoneís ever thought of anything so clever before

 

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Or not.Man, Wonder Woman mustíve been pissed.Well, letís continue shall we?

 

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You know, I really donít understand how the Red Skull could shoot down EVERYTHING the USA would launch at him, especially if they had the stealth technology for a plane that practically landed at his doorstep undetected.Why not just use the same technology on a rocket, or make the plane ram into the satellite, and save Cap the trouble?

 

Point number two, I know heís in outer space and all, but doesnít the Red Skull believe in security measures?

 

Point number three, isnít the Red Skull German?Why would he have all the equipment on his satellite clearly labeled in English?

 

Still, props for the creative satellite there.I donít believe Iíve ever seen a skull shaped satellite like that used in comics before

 

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Hey, look, itís Brainiacís skull shaped space ship!To be fair, I think the Red Skull satellite came first, so shame on you DC!

 

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Why in the world did the Red Skull build a self destruct switch?Satellites are very expensive to build (and how did the Skull manage to get it out into space and set-up without the USA noticing for that matter?) and they require meticulous planning, so he mustíve put one in for a purpose.And why the oddly specific time of 3 minutes?So many questions, so little answers.

 

Will Cap get out alive?Well, no actually, he dies in space saving us all, making this the first ever death of Captain America issue.Iíve put it up for sale on eBay, starting bid is $50 US.

 

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Yeah, Iím a filthy liar.

 

I also canít figure out what the oxygen tank is attached to on Capís form-fitting uniform.I didnít see any hose opening in other panels, so I can only guess itís there for show.Or maybe since thereís no bathroom in the stealth shipÖ

 

And thereís a nice, English labeled escape hatch for Cap too.

 

In a random thought, there was another rather dramatic incident that occurred in 1981.Perhaps, shortly after his election and while recovering in hospital after an failed assassination attempt in 1981, Ronald Reagan was given this issue as a gift, and he got so spooked by it that the Star Wars program was born.

 

Sigh.

 

 

Image Within the Image

 

Way back when we had an image taken out of Adventure Comics #334 (I think, see my mind, she donít work so good) featuring the pitfalls for a Supergirl having to change to go into actionÖ

 

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And in a recent order of comics, Powergirl #4 had this wonderful little moment with the title character and Terra, and another homeless personÖ

 

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I wonít show you the next panel where the poor drunk gets beaten to a bloody pulpÖ

 

Because he doesnít.The girls donít even notice him.Guess he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, unlike our friend who crossed paths with Supergirl.

 

Iíd like to think that someone came across the little Image Iíd posted earlier and was inspired to include this in Powergirl, but Iím not that naÔve.Itís a freaky coincidence, I know,but still, you ROCK Amanda Conner!

 

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