Okay, now here’s something no man should be without!  Just think how slender you’ll look with this stylish underwear crushing the abs and any organs in the general vicinity.


Just look at that stunning design pointing to the man marbles.  Classy!  Judging by the size of the cod piece, our male model here is either in excruciating pain, or not all he appears to be.


Of course, this is the New, New Commander, so it must be at least 2 times better than that pathetic New Commander belt, or the craptacular Commander belt.  And what’s with the name Commander?  Do they have more control garments named after other Navy ranks?  I shudder at what the Rear Admiral encompasses.


Hey, I just got it.  The cod piece is completely detachable, right?  Meaning, the belt lets you ‘go commando’ whenever the need arises!


Oh man, boners, going commando, man marbles – well, this was a lowlight of  an update…