acFrom Action Comics #346 (I think, I’ll have to double check on that), comes some of the most useless crap you could ever attach to a bicycle!


Not to worry though, because there’s a 10 day free trial to try out that sturdy bike windshield!  A bike windshield?  Are you kidding me?  And check out the tag line – “Really makes your bike different.”  Yeah, it’ll make it real easy for the other kids to figure out who to beat the crap out of each day!  I guess that’s why they also sell a Bike Machine Gun!!


A Bike Machine Gun?  Are they high?  That’s all you need is a kid with a pellet gun flying down the street, mowing people down!  I guess it would be good practice for future drive-bys.  Try to stick one of those on your bike nowadays kids, and see how long it is before you no longer have a bike.


I wonder who’d win in a joust, the kid with the windshield, or the kid with the machine gun?


Oh man, there’s a clacker that “makes your bike like a motorcycle”.  Couldn’t you save the 39 cents plus 25 cents postage and just use baseball cards instead?  What did they cost back then?  A nickel for 5 cards?


But then again, I guess any kid who thinks a Jolly Roger Flag is attractive and safety oriented would be dumb enough to buy anything. 


And yet, they don’t sell bike helmets – go figure…