Article #31
A
Strange Case of Klingons
(Or, What the
F***?)
Well,
it’s been a while since I’ve updated this monstrosity I call a website, but
I’ve finally gotten around to it. Some
might say I’m lazy, others that I’ve run out of material about 2 years ago, and
yet others may worry for my health, fearing an illness kept me out of
action. I’d say everyone’s partially
right and leave it at that.
To
anyone who’s been following the site, you may notice that I’m somewhat of a
Star Trek fan as well, and to those who don’t follow the site, well, there’s
your bit of trivial trivia for the day.
Yes, we’ve seen Mr. Spock go absolutely ape-s**t on some plants in Star
Trek #1, and we’ve seen the Enterprise crew make an unexpected visit to
downtown Toronto, Canada (just check out the Archives section for
details). This brings us to a question
any fan of the series is asked, namely, what happened to Scotty in Star Trek
IV?
Above
left you can see Scotty back in his starving actor days on your left – and on
your right you can see Scotty in his “I know I’m set for life” days. I’d show you my before and after photos, but
they both look exactly the same, and they both look like Scotty’s after photo…
and in both of them I’m talking into my mouse…
And of
course, the very next question is, what is your favorite alien? Such a bevy to choose from, but foremost on
most people’s minds are the Klingons. Ah
yes, the Klingons, a proud warrior race that has endeared itself to our
society. Heck, you can even learn
Klingonese nowadays! There is one
aspect, however, that has troubled many a fan regarding the Klingons (well, it
bothered me anyway). The big question
is, what exactly happened to the Klingons between the original Star Trek series
and the Next Generation series? They
started as bushy eye browed off-white skinned fugitives from a 50s Genghis Khan
movie. Remember that awful one that
starred John Wayne as Genghis – I kid you not, look it up on IMDB! Imagine the Duke walking out and saying, in
his perfect Texan accent, “Well pilgrim, you better think twice before making a
wall to keep me out! I ought to
slaughter every one of your able bodied men and feast on their flesh, I
should!” (Remember, the 50s weren’t
renowned for being PC).
Then on
TNG they had, as Captain Picard put it on an episode of Family Guy “Number One,
doesn’t Lieutenant Worf’s forehead look like a fanny?”
Here
are a couple of photos for your comparison pleasure. On the left is the classic Klingon, and on
the right is good old Worf of TNG.
My
word, the resemblance is remarkable!
Stunning actually, especially if you were blind. Of course, this has all been explained now in
the comics, so fans don’t really have to wonder about what happened. In fact, the image to the left is the cover
to one issue of Star Trek Klingons by IDW that was supposed to explain
everything. Mind you, I haven’t actually
read the story that does the explaining, but apparently it’s all been
explained.
Or has
it?
I offer
for your amusement, one piece of Klingon history that I doubt anyone, anywhere
has bothered to explain. Taken straight
out of Star Trek #13, we find Kirk and Spock in the frightful clutches of the
merciless Klingons!
Yes, those
purple-short-panted-wearing, bald headed, very white skinned folks in the
panels above are, in fact, Klingons!
Hence, the witty little WTF in today’s title. Egad, from merciless Mongol stereotypes, to
bald headed Kojak knock-offs, to fanny-headed warriors! What a journey this proud race must have gone
through – and I’ll just bet they wish they could just get off the ride already!
You
know, in the case of the television shows, the TNG had a nice large budget, and
advances in skin prosthetics and make-up to make the Klingons appear “more
alien”. That is easy enough to
comprehend. Also, in many cases artists
doing work that involves licensed properties are limited to what they can
portray. Currently you can’t make a
character from a property look too much like the actor because then you’d have
to pay the actor a fee for using their likeness. I remember seeing Starbuck from an older
Battlestar Galactica comic series who looked absolutely nothing like Dirk Benedict,
the actor who played Starbuck. But this
alteration seems to defy all logic.
Spock looks like Spock, so why can’t the generic Klingons look like the
generic Klingons from the TV show?
Judging by the clean-shaven appearance of every character on the page
above, maybe it’s because the artist has trouble drawing beards? Or maybe this batch of Klingons suffer from
radiation poisoning?
Or
maybe he had a thing for bald men in shorts?
Now that’s a scary thought!
Until
next time, beam me up Scotty…
Image within the Image Moment
Yes,
it’s back because no one demanded it, our ever (un)popular image within the
image moment. This one comes to us from
Mystery in Space #94. Normally I’d put
in a long winded explanation here, straining myself to pass the matter as
humorously as possible, butt instead I will allow the matter to stay silent and
thus, more deadly. I leave it to you,
dear reader, to pass your own conclusion as to what Adam Strange and Alanna
were doing in the following panel…
I hope
you held your breath.