Article #71!
January
9, 2015
My
Comic is Broken!
OR…
More boners?...
It's a brand new year and why not start things off right with this entry, excerpted from the Dynamite Comics series The Shadow #2 from 2015. I've always liked the Shadow, a character that's been around for close to 80 years, meting out his own brand of vigilante justice in the... shadows. Hey, I just got that! Clever! The series itself is pretty interesting, dealing with the underground occult and magicians, mystical forces beyond our ken, and of course Harry Houdini's ghost! Here on the cover you can see the Shadow about to battle a modern werewolf creature...
I'm not going to delve too deep into the story though, I'd rather that folks pick up the series for themselves, but only if you abide by the TEEN+ rating (who am I kidding, no one reads this site). Rather I'd like you to peruse the following page of story, as the Shadow is being told the startling origin of one of the story's most dire protagonists...
Pretty creepy stuff, eh? I know. Now let's continue on with the story...
Pretty creepy stuff, eh? I know. Now let's continue on with the story... and hey! Wait a minute! Sure the pictures changed on the next page, but the text is exactly the same! It's like we've entered some kind of perverse Groundhog Day, where events change but the narration stays the same. Weird! Seriously, I'm pretty slow, it took me a while before I realized that the page's texts were repeating, but when I did, I smiled. There's that myth that comic readers and collectors aren't the brightest, and here's a publisher looking out for us by repeating the text to make sure we don't miss anything. How nice :)
Hey, I bet you're wondering what this has to do with boners, as noted in the article title? Well, boners can be defined as blunders or errors perpetuated by a person, which is definitely what happened above. Of course, nowadays, the word boner is used in another, more sexualized way, making some older comics ridiculous upon reading. A while back (I'm talking years ago) I introduced everyone Batman #66 and the Joker's Boner. Now, in that grand tradition, let me introduce you to Superman Family #169, reprinting a classic tale that lets us get up close and personal with Superboy's father, Pa Kent, and... honestly, what do you say about a senior citizen encountering his son's vibrating rod?
Did... did Pa Kent just climax? Now there's an image
you'll never get out of your head... you're welcome.
How do you top that? By having the man's adopted son notice his Pa's man bulge after handling said rod, of course!
Thought I was kidding didn't you? Yes Superboy, keep a
close eye on your Pa's secret boners...
And of course, nothing would be complete without the creepiest looking Jimmy Olsen and his mismatched eyes watching...
Jimmy Olsen fun fact, I have absolutely no f***ing idea
what's going on here.
Thanks for reading and remember, if it isn't Superboy watching your boners, there's always Jimmy... sitting there, watching... always...
Sleep tight!